My Clever Maltese
I’m the proud, loving owner of Amy Louise,
She’s my clever and beautiful long-haired Maltese.
But I’m just as devoted to Lulu Aimée,
My fabulous doll made of papier-mâché.
I used flour and water and newspaper bands
And I crafted this doll with my very own hands.
She is not very pretty, I have to confess,
But to me she’s a masterpiece nevertheless.
My pet is upset when I cuddle my doll.
When it comes to affection, this dog wants it all.
She thinks Lulu Aimée is her rival in love
And she jealously gives her a snarl or a shove.
Whenever my pup gets possessive like this,
The only known cure is a comforting kiss.
So I press very sweetly my lips to her nose
And up and away all her bitterness goes.
One morning I wake to a cute furry mug –
It’s my frisky Maltese and I give her a hug.
Then I reach for my doll, but she’s not by my side…
Now where could my baby girl possibly hide?
I look through the bed sheets, I rummage around,
But nowhere is Lulu Aimée to be found.
Then Amy Louise makes a mischievous smirk
And I know without question that this is her work!
“You’ve kidnapped my baby!” I angrily shout.
But she closes her eyes and just sticks out her snout.
This ever-conniving and devious pooch
Is holding poor Lu in exchange for a smooch!
The ransom does not seem outrageously high.
I want back my Lulu and so I comply.
My kiss is as cold and as quick as can be,
But my love-hungry pup gets all giddy with glee.
I say, “Go fetch my doll now! Go on, move your paws!”
Then she runs off and brings something back in her jaws.
As I pull it away, I am stricken with dread:
It’s not the whole doll, just her broken-off head!
I get terribly mad and I stomp and I swear,
But my dog simply turns up her nose in the air.
Then I realize why she tore Lulu apart:
It was not out of cruelty, she tried to be smart!
She figured if she had more doll parts to trade,
The bigger the ransom that she would be paid!
So I give her a kiss and I get back Lu’s trunk;
I give her another and get one more chunk.
With every new kiss I bestow on this beast,
A new piece of Lulu Aimée is released.
I collect an assortment of arms, legs, and feet,
And at last my beloved old doll is complete.
Then I carefully put her together with glue
And she’s back to her glory, my fabulous Lu!
I embrace my sweet babe with a jubilant cry
While Amy Louise casts a threatening eye.
“Leave Lulu alone,” I admonish the mutt,
“I am sure there is some kind of deal we can cut.
Since it cost me eight kisses to get this doll back,
Eight kisses should stop any further attack…”
Each morning I now have eight kisses to pay
So that Lulu Aimée remains safe for the day.
The arrangement suits Amy Louise mighty fine,
She is perfectly happy and very benign.
Now I cuddle my baby girls, one in each arm.
You would say we’re the picture of sweetness and charm.
The three of us live in harmonious joy:
My clever Maltese, and myself, and my toy.